by Steve Rhodes
Question by bandanabandit: Dating a sex worker, Love vs Career?
My girlfriend of 6 months recently told me she wanted to pursue a career as a sex worker, an erotic massage worker. Sure it's framed as therapeutic, but it is after all - sexual in nature. She wants to help people get in touch with their erotic energy and not be ashamed of sex. Sexological work, I suppose.
She was a dancer for years, but stopped before we started dating and knows that this would bother me. She also claims steadily to be in love with me and wants this to work.
Now after 6 months, I'm angry that she waited so long to tell me and unsure about a future.
I want her to feel fulfilled in life, but not at the expense of my mental health. I am not at all ashamed of her past, but I want a healthy happy future.
Am I wrong to think that you should choose love over work? I mean - if I really am the love of her life, apple of her eye, and the one, should there even be a choice?
I should also say, that I do believe she believes in this work, that it is a good thing and helps people. I also believe there is a place for it and that it benefits people who have experienced trauma and/or are unable to experience pleasure from their hangups.
I just think there are other ways to do this, like being a sex therapist or doing sex workshops to empower youth for safe sex and communication.
I do love her, very very much. I just don't think I"m big enough to handle the weight of my own angst surrounding it all.
Best answer:
Answer by TrueAnswers
Let me break it down for you, o.k? She wants to touch other men. She wants to massage other men. She wants to get paid extra for "extra services" with other men. Kudos to you for wanting her to feel fulfilled, but can you see yourself going to bed with her at night after she comes home from work where you have no idea what she may have just performed on another man? And if she comes home from work and you want to have sex and she doesn't, wouldn't it cross your mind that maybe it's because she just got filled up by a "client"? Seriously, "erotic massages" are a part of the work, but they are also escorts too...pay a little more and you get more. Find a respectable woman, for the sake of your mental health.
What do you think? Answer below!
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